Battle of the Bulge

Greetings and Salutations guys and gals!  Once again I apologize for the time between posts, but between 3rd shift work, a new baby at home, and trying to get into the gym here and there, spare time is very scarce.  I'm starting to wonder if I'm not wasting my time in the gym, I can't seem to shed the baby weight I put on with my wife.  I didn't intentionally put it on, mind you, it just happens EVERY time my wife gets pregnant!

I cracked my fibula in my left leg getting a ladder knocked out from under me on the job when I used to do commercial/industrial heating and air over two years ago and in the time that I was on "injured reserve" so-to-speak, I gained up to 285lbs., actually that's how much I weighed after I'd been working out two-three weeks, so I was probably really closer to 290-295lbs.  After I got let go from that company a little while later, I started helping some friends of ours operate a gym here in town where I live and I lost back down to 240-245lbs, depending on how many Miller Lites I had partaken in the previous weekend.  

Although I shed 40+ lbs in a little over two months, I still couldn't get my stomach and "love handle", (or "muffin tops" as they are referred to nowadays), area to lose down to where I wanted it to be.  I was SO proud of shedding the weight, but frustrated at the same time about still having the gut chub going on.  Then Leslie got pregnant and I started putting the weight back on.  I honestly think some of it is fluid weight, because my leg still swells from the injury two years after the fact, but mostly I'm just getting to be a fat body again.  I'm not back to the 285lbs., but I'm a very hefty 265lbs..  It almost all settles right in my gut and butt, which is already big enough, even when I'm not overweight. For some reason God saw fit to give me a woman butt.   Most people tell me that they can't tell I'm that big because I'm tall, but I honestly think they are just trying not to hurt my feelings.  

Oh how I long for the days where I could eat and drink whatever I want, and never put on a pound.  Up until I was 26 years old, when I quit smoking cigarettes, I was between 200lbs. and 210lbs., and you could see every muscle in my stomach, but immediately after I quit smoking I put on 20lbs., you could still see my abs, but I was noticeably "thicker".   I stayed at 220lbs. though for three years or so, until my wife got pregnant with our first child.  I gained up to 270lbs, but lost it pretty fast when I started a 3rd shift warehouse job, and was working out with a friend 3 days a week also.  I put on weight with my second child also, but not quite as much, and again lost back down to my 220lbs. within a couple of months.  

I don't know what the difference is this time, unless it's age.  I have actually continued to put on weight even though I'm still working out. I'm dumbfounded, and just about to hang it up and eat and do whatever I want, and not worry about it anymore.  I know one factor is that we've eaten out a lot more since Leslie had the baby and has been recuperating from her "c-section" and getting her tubes tied at the same time.  She hasn't been able to stay on her feet for long periods of time to cook much, although she has probably more than she should.  It's hard to keep her down, even when she's supposed to take it easy, she's a super-trooper!

I am going to give it another last ditch effort and try to do it right, and hopefully shed some of this unwanted chunkiness.  I was on a tuna kick when I lost all the weight before, so I guess I'll stock back up, and TRY to make it into the gym more than once or twice every couple of weeks.  After 12 hour shifts, it's rough working out and on days off there seems to be so much other crap going on, but I'm going to drop the excuses and give it one last genuine effort. 

I'm going to state it publicly that way I can't back out, I have an obligation to get my priorities in order for my health if no other reason, not to mention the psychological aspect of being tired of feeling like a fat slob.  I have three kids who I want to be able to play and be active with.  I don't want to be the old, fat dad, I want to be the old, healthy dad that all the kids want to hang with.  I can't do anything about the "old", but I sincerely hope that with a little work I can accomplish the "healthy" part.  

I didn't intend for this to be a rant on my fatness, but when I finally get a chance to sit and write, my mind just goes on it's own path and my fingers follow.  Hopefully in the future I'll have some positive weight updates to post in with my regular, more interesting ravings, but until then send those positive vibes my way, because I'm going to need all the help I can get!

This one's for the Fakers!

Hello folks! I finally made it back to Bloggonia, it's been a while, but I have been very productive in my time away.  I brought a new baby girl into the world, well...with the help of my wife, a doctor and a few nurses, okay, I just watched and gave words of encouragement and motivation, but I was darn good at it!

Ila was born on Friday morning at/around 7:43am, and weighed 6 pounds, 8 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long.  Everything went very smoothly and both baby and mommy are at home getting much needed rest and relaxation.  As I had figured would happen she stole my heart as soon as I held her in my arms in the delivery room.  It's a good thing I have such a big heart, because now I have four people with a hold on it.  Three babies and the my wife who was the first one to snatch it, as the Psalm says, "my cup runneth over"!

As I was pondering on what to ramble about tonight, my mind took me back to a couple of days ago when I went to the local Wal-Mart pharmacy to pick up some medication for my wife to help her with the "after baby pain" of the c-section, and when I was pulling out of the parking spot I was nearly ran over by a group of late teen, early twenty something characters in a brand new Cadillac who glared at me under their lowered ball caps trying to look menacing and tough.  I couldn't help but visibly laugh at them, mainly because they were trying to present themselves as what I could only guess to be thugs, yet they were all white as the driven snow, wearing designer jeans, thirty dollar ball caps, and driving their mom and dads Cadillac Escalade.

Don't get me wrong, I've known some thugs in my life of partying, bad living and mischief and even consider many to be friends of mine and I have to say these guys were no thugs.  I think the old 90's terminology for these youngsters would be either "posers" or "wannabes".   I am reminded of a time when I was riding around in Winston-Salem with a friend of mine and at that time I just happened to have the Wu-Tang Clan playing in my Honda's tape deck and a similar looking group of young black kids pulled up next to us at a light "mean-mugging" us.  My friend was nervous and went to turn the music down and I laughed and assured him that those kids were not who he had to worry about.  It's the ones with nothing to lose that you have to watch.  The ones who have truly had to live hard and have never had anything flashy and expensive to flaunt. I really don't want that to come off sounding like stereotyping, but the reality is that there is a messed up world out there where it's easy for some to see no positive future and feel they have to resort to any means necessary to "get theirs".   This rant isn't about these folks though.  This is about the fakers.

Religious fakes are some of the worse.  I'm sure we all know at least one.  I abhor people who try to present a front of self-righteousness while in all actuality they're judgmental, spiteful, deceitful, hatemongers.  In today's world this is a rampant problem.  I am a pretty spiritual person and I know that I should really strive to live  a little better most times, but I have to be honest these religious fakers have been a key factor in me not really finding a church to attend.  It seems that church is a fashion show, or a dog and pony show where everyone puts on their best appearance and counts the seconds until it's over so they can go back into the world feeling better about themselves but go on living their lives of lies.  Don't get me started on the preachers behind the pulpits of many of these so called houses of God.  They hem-haw through their prepared rhetoric  telling the congregation what they think they want to hear so that they'll come back next Sunday and put money in the offering plate to help fatten their wallets.  These fakers will get theirs in the end though when they have to answer to a higher power.

Then there are the characters who go to great lengths to appear to be of a different social status. Let's call them "Social Fakers". Now this goes both ways, in addition to the people that try to make themselves fit into an upscale social scene when they are broke as convicts, there are surprisingly those that come from well-to-do  homes that try to appear like they've had a hard row to hoe to gain some sort of respect or "street cred".  These individuals take it further than the wannabes I discussed earlier, these  people will purposefully sabotage their lives to appear to be down trodden and hopeless.  I knew one of these guys personally and he had every advantage anyone would ever want growing up but chose to sink into an abyss of self destruction simply to seem hardened and tough.   Me being from a poor family growing up, that didn't have a whole lot of anything as a kid, just couldn't get my head around the idea of living that way when he could've been anything he wanted to be and done anything he wanted to do with his life. This is truly a shame and a waste of the worst kind.

Basically, fakers of all kinds annoy me to no end.  If there is one thing that I hope people remember about me when I'm dead and gone, is that I was true to me and didn't try to be something or somebody that I wasn't.  Although, there WAS that brief period of my life that I tried to embrace the skater lifestyle, and would've succeeded if I would've been a better skater!   I wouldn't really say I was a "poser" at skating, I was just more of a failure at it, and I have the scars to prove it!

In closing, I'll leave you with a song that I used to really like back in the good ol' 90's about a social faker.  It's by Pulp and it's called "Common People".   Until next time, I'm out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWaHnlt2I3U&list=PL57109841B90F1A6A&index=48&feature=plpp_video