Thursday, May 31, 2012

Love at First Sight

Hello again Bloggers and Bloggettes!  Hope all is well with you!  Things are getting ready to get really hectic in my little corner of the world.  Baby Ila will be here in two weeks, if not sooner, and I'll have to shift gears back into baby mode again after eight years.  This should prove to be interesting.  Anyone that has infants or has had an infant knows what I mean.

I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it is definitely a job for the first few months.  I'm sure it will really be now, eight years after my last baby.   Lucky for me I married Super Mom, but I always do try to help as much as I can and give her the breaks she needs.  Maybe I'll lose some of the 20+ pounds I put on during her pregnancy!  It happens every time she gets pregnant, I put on more weight than she does.  It never fails!

We were very fortunate with our first two children as far as the sleep part, both of them slept almost all through the night.  I'm afraid that this baby is going to be different, I mean what are the chances of three babies that sleep through the night, I'm guessing not that great.

With my first, my son, I would get up and help in the middle of the night if she needed me to, some times we would alternate who got up.  With my second, she pretty much let me snooze and she did almost all the getting up.  I'm curious what kind of system we'll have for Ila now that I'm on night shifts.

If the pregnancy is any indication of how the baby is going to be, we need to get all the rest we can now!  This baby has been so much more active than our last two during her pregnancy.   I hope that's not a sign that she's going to be wide open all night when she gets here!  Truthfully though, as long as she gets here safe and sound, with no problems and all of her little fingers and toes, I will be overjoyed.

I was chatting with a friend earlier and he asked if I was excited about the impending arrival and I told him that I was more nervous than anything.  I was that way with both my other babies too.  I just thought that this being the third, I'd be a little less nervous and anxious, but I was wrong.  I guess my mind will only be at ease when the bring her back from the little examination room after delivery and they've done their initial inspection of our new baby girl.

I have to admit, that initially I wasn't as "into" the whole pregnancy this time like I was the other two, and it bothered me and I actually felt guilty about it like maybe I was a bad person because I wasn't feeling the excitement I had experienced the other two times.  I remember when I found out we were having our second I worried about being able to love her as much as I did our first born, but found that to be no problem at all.  I began having that feeling again with this one and couldn't shake it.  I think part of it is that I haven't been able to go to as many appointments like I did with the others because of my night shift work schedule.  

I think what helped me the most was when we went for the ultra-sound and they told us that every thing looked normal, that it was definitely a little girl, and getting to see her all balled up in her cozy little fetal position.  The second thing that got me back in the baby frame of mind is when we named her.  Now this tiny little being had a name, Ila, after my Grandma who used to spoil the crap out of me as a child.

I still wonder sometimes how in the world I will be able to love this baby as much as the other two, but as the day to delivery has gotten nearer, I know that I am capable of loving Ila with all my heart, just like I do her brother Andrew and her sister Cara. I am once again looking forward to holding the new born baby and experiencing the feelings of pride, joy and overwhelming love when I get to meet the newest edition to our little clan for the first time.

There is a scene in the movie "Where the Heart Is", (yeah, I know, it's a chick-flick-sue me!), where Natalie Portman is holding her new baby and says something to the effect of "how can it be possible to love someone so much that you just met", but that is exactly what it's like, or at least it was for me.  They stole my heart from the first moment that I laid eyes on them and held their tiny little hospital blanket covered bodies in my arms.  Guess what?  Now I get to relive that feeling all over again!  Love at first sight!



No comments:

Post a Comment